Double Identity

Every time I come home I realize just how different my two "lives" truly are. When I'm home, I can expect a very relaxed, comfortable, great-food, lose-track-of-time, civilian experience. And when I'm at the Academy I can often expect a rigid, stressful, micromanaged, eat-the-salad-because-nothing-else-tastes-quite-right, homework and responsibility intensive, military lifestyle. They are so far on either side of the spectrum from each other that I have begun to question if I am the same person on each side of the country.

Of course, I immediately jump to the answer of "Yes, you are the same person because being different would mean you are leading two different lives, and that is bad." Unfortunately, the closer I look the more I realize that perhaps I am not the same person at the Academy as I am at home. Indeed, I am for the most part a consistent person, I make no effort to hide the fact that I am a country boy from Texas who loves the outdoors, shooting, camping, and adventure in general when I am at school. In fact, I take ownership of it. And I don't try to hide the fact that I am a mechanical engineering student serving in the military when I am home. But macro personality traits aren't at all what I am worried about. That's where a closer examination is needed.

Now before I go on, it is important to realize that certain personality traits will flourish more in certain situations than others. Also, some situations require particular language usage and behaviors that would seem out of place in otherwise typical situations. My two-sided life is no exception. For example, when I'm home I will use Mr or Mrs, Sir or Ma'am for just about anyone older than me. In the military that just won't work. There may be a chief who is 50 years old with 30 years of service under his belt, but I still won't call him Sir (as much as I might instinctively try to) because not only would that be against military customs, there's a good chance he would be offended by it. Likewise, when I am performing Cadre duties (as I have been this summer) I will hardly ever smile. My "life is good" face there very similarly resembles a "I am having a terrible day" face here. Why? It imperative to not show emotion in certain aspects of the new recruits' training. My point in saying all this is that there will almost always be some situation-specific traits that will not be consistent across every environment one is subjected to. I have many of these and I realize their purpose so I won't mention them here because their irrelevance.

What bothers me are some things that shouldn't be different. At the Academy I tend to be completely upfront and transparent. I tell people what is on my mind, what is bothering me if something is, and I have no problem telling people the hard truth. In fact, many have come to expect that from me. Sadly, I find that at home I don't always feel as if I can be completely upfront with my parents. And it's not that I am trying to deceive them, by any means, but sometimes I feel like I must sugarcoat things and some things just aren't worth bringing up. I'm not saying that I should strive to always be like I am at the Academy, because some times there is a need for tact. Sometimes people need to hear things in a not-so-harsh way for them to actually listen. But what I do know is that I need to be consistent. I will always be learning but I must strive to follow the example that Christ led for us, and He was the same yesterday as He is today and will be tomorrow.

This and a few other problems that I have identified will definitely keep me busy for a while. The very last thing I need is to start forming a habit of leading two completely different lives. One day I'll graduate from the service and most likely start a family of my own - to lead a different life at work from that at home would be a tragic recipe for disaster.

So that's what has been on my mind lately; food for thought, thoughts for prayer. Strive to imitate Christ, and enjoy the rest of your summer!

-Storm

Nav Rules, Prayers for Ms Sunderland

So, just a quick update because I'm bored: This week is the infamous ROTR week. Infamous among academy personnel, because during this week we must learn, memorize, and be able to apply the Coast Guard Navigation Rules handbook in it's entirety. This 200-odd page handbook is basically the same handbook you were told to memorize when you were learning to drive, except for shipdrivers, and it covers and contrasts rules for international waters as well as inland waters. So far it has gone well for me and I feel fairly confident that I will be able to pass the exam tomorrow. However, if I don't, I must find the time to take the exam again sometime this summer, and if I fail that one also then I am bumped to freshman liberty status, meaning I don't get to leave on Friday nights anymore, and I won't be able to wear my civilian clothes when I'm out in the city. Basically I really need to pass this exam tomorrow or else the rest of the summer goes downhill extremely fast.

But I'm pretty sure I'll pass - it's a 50 question exam and I must get a 90% or above to pass, so I should be alright.

And in other news, keep Abby Sunderland in your prayers. I never hope to find myself in a situation where I am stranded at sea, and I can only imagine what it must be like at the age of 16. But the mere fact that she is 2000 miles from land is enough to make even Spartacus tremble in his shackles. At that distance an air rescue is not even an option, and an emergency air drop of supplies isn't much better. The nearest ship is a private fishing vessel that was 40 hrs away from her position at the time when she popped her EPIRBs. At this point she is in God's hands, so pray that she has the presence of mind to stay focused on surviving. She should have all the tools she needs, and we know she has a strong will, so if she keeps her wits about her she'll make it out to spend time with her family again. Here's an article if you'd like read it: http://gizmodo.com/5560505/16%20year%20old-world%20circling-solo-sailor-lost-at-sea

-Storm