Friends, sometimes a challenge is good.

Over the past few months I've been talking some with a semi new friend, we'll call her Hope, that I made through physics studying back home and our new church. She's been a great help in getting through some hard days, and I like to think that I've been a good help to her in some problems she's been dealing with, too.

About a week ago she, out of the blue, asked me if I thought that a certain girl, we'll call Jewel, still likes me. This girl, for the record, is the same one that I talked about earlier when I was saying that I discovered that the only girl I've every truly felt for doesn't actually like me. So, I told Hope that I thought my old crush doesn't like me anymore, although she may have before. Hope disagreed, saying that she thought I was wrong, and followed up by asking whether I like her still. I was amused by this for two reasons, I have never told Hope that I like Jewel, and of course, I still liked Jewel, but instead of answering the question I dodged it by asking how she knew I used to like Jewel. Hope was giving in, she asked me "Let me put it this way, if you knew she liked you, would you like her?" I decided to be honest, and replied, "Honestly? I'd be head over heels for her."

We talked a bit more, and the general conclusion from the conversation was that she might still like me, but she may not. In any event it was up to me to tell her my feelings and until I do I won't get either the relationship or the closure that will allow me to move on. The funny thing is, this was not news to me at all, in fact I most likely would have given the same counsel to any friend of mine, had they approached me with the same situation. So, next time I'm home I've decided I will make sure to have a talk with this girl, Jewel, and let her know where I stand. At this point, it is a win-win situation for me because if she has the same feelings for me then that is great, and if she doesn't, then at least I have closure and I can start trying to move on (painful as it may be).

There are three things that I've noticed about this whole experience that I wanted to share.
1) If you have feelings for a girl, be honest with her. It's not going to hurt you, she can't take anything away from you by rejection, and I think a lot of guys will find that most girls, even if they are not interested, aren't going to be super rude about it or anything like that. You are still who you are, and if you continue to trust God, He will show you the way.
2) Sometimes it might be helpful to completely remove yourself from the situation and try to give yourself advice as if you were not the person in question. I don't know how this works in relationships, because that means removing almost all emotion from the picture - which is hard. But heck, it's worth a try.
3) And for all other times when you can't seem to fix the issue yourself, often it takes a friend to help you out. But not just any kiss-up friend, sometimes you need a friend to challenge you. When I was talking with Hope, I started getting a little agitated a few times, but I didn't show that to her because I knew that she was right and I needed the challenging. On the flip side, perhaps you are that friend for someone. Don't be afraid to challenge your friends. Don't be rude, but remember that we all need a kick to get going from time to time, and maybe one of your friends needs that from you!

As for Jewel, when I go home next (spring break) I will talk with her. I'll keep you all updated, I'm sure!

Storm